Show Me Love
by silentmuse24
Summary: Warning:femslash and physical abuse. Kelsi's relationship with Jason turns on her and Sharpay is there with surprising feelings. Dont like? Don't read! Dedicated to musicisinmysoul.


**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING!!!

**A/N:** Warning, there will be major abuse, and a possibility of sexual assault, if either of these things turn your stomach you may wish to read elsewhere. Otherwise, I hope you all enjoy and please remember to be kind and FEED THE BARD!!!

~*~*~*~

I can't tell you when my life suddenly grew to be so out of my control...

If I think back far enough, I was happy... once upon a time, HA! Sounds like a fairytale, then again, _he_ was my fairytale, the prince that willingly swept the princess off of her feet, seeing past the disguise of shy, dorky-pianist, and seeing me for a princess that I never knew I had in me. Jason Cross was a good guy, I believed that with all my heart, he was my Prince, and truly welcomed me more than any other, into the Wildcat society after the championship game my Junior year, we began to date, and he'd been so sweet, I saw past the clumsiness and the oddball stupidity every so often that made him the laughing stock of the Wildcat basketball team and his friends.

He held open doors, let me wear his jacket in the theatres, even helped my father and I paint our kitchen when we were supposed to go on a date. He'd brung me flowers after my musicale, Twinkle Towne, became a huge success many thanks to Troy and Gabriella for being my stars, and paid for my dinner that we all went out for after Opening Night. My life was so wonderful, I had everything I'd wanted in him...

So why is it now, I look over my shoulder whenever I walk home from school? Why do I jump whenever I hear a locker slam, why do I flinch everytime one of my fellow Wildcats presses a friendly pat on my shoulder or a simple touch to my arm? When did Jason first strike out at me, when did he cross that line where I suddenly felt like I had no escape?

The school bell rang, signalling the end of the school day, and I jumped, but it went unnoticed by my fellow classmates as everyone made headway for the door, I shuffled as quickly as I could to stuff all my books away, before Mrs. Darbus reminded me about the Summer Musical program and I cant remember if I even gave her a reply as I rushed to my locker, praying to make it there before.. I froze steadily.

Jason stood at my locker, along with Troy, Gabriella, Chad and Taylor and I felt somewhat relieved, at least he wasn't alone this time, Jason knew better than to ever bring up anything deragatory to me around our friends, and I went to my locker, not catching his eye as he tried to bend down for a kiss, I used what little strength I could to pull my locker open and froze when it smashed Jason's shoulder and cheek, apart of me felt somewhat gleeful of causing him a little damage, the other half was freaking out internally about how much he would get me back later... I saw it in the back of his deep hazel stare that he was wanting very much to yell at me right then, but I focused on grabbing my books after muttering an apology, he then gripped me around my waist, a little too roughly, and smiled at me.

"The guys and I were gonna head out for pizza, you ready?"he asked.

"I cant Jason, I have homework and I promised my Dad I'd help finish the living room, remember?"I could see by his face that I was aggrivating him.

_Good, its worth it, you cant control me..._ my stubborn side continued to play hardball when I knew later I'd be wishing I'd just shut up and gone along.

"Too bad, maybe next time,"Gabriella said, dragging Troy with her.

"Yeah, c'mon, I'm starving man,"Chad said, clapping Jason's arm.

"I should see that my girlfriend gets home,"Jason said, a lingering tone in his voice made my stomach drop with a cold dread. _No.. please no_.

"Aw, thats sweet, why dont you ever take me home!?"Taylor scolded her boyfriend as they walked away.

"What?!"Chad whined as they tried to catch up with Gabriella.

I wanted so bad to run, the halls were clear, no students to stop me, but he'd catch me, he was so much faster, so much stronger, the grip on my arm made me wince, and then my back was slammed into the metal lockers behind me, my glasses flying from my face. I let out a cry, but before it was finished, the hard set of Jason's knuckles came across my face, making me see stars as I fell to the ground in a fetal position, whimpering and shaking.

"How _dare_ you make me look stupid in front of the guys?!"he punctuated every word with a rough kick to my thighs, stomach and shins. I bit my lip, hard, knowing he'd just keep hitting me if I continued to cry out, I couldn't let him see my pain, tears blindsided me more than my lack of glasses, my hair had fallen loose from my white newsboy cap that now lay a few feet away, along with my books, I felt Jason's hand grab my arm and jerk me up into a sitting position.

"You gonna answer me!?"he yelled.

"J-Jason, I-I didn't m-m-mean- I-I'm sor-"

"Shut up!"he hit me across the other cheek, I felt my teeth rattle from his high school ring connecting with my jaw, and I fell to the cool tile, sobbing helplessly. "You will go out with us tomorrow afternoon, we're going to the court to practice, then out to the movies, you wont give me any lip, you got that?!"he snapped. I whimpered weakly in reply, before I strained my ears to listen to his heavy feet stomp off, once I knew the coast was clear, my body automatically tried to calm itself down, I groped around for my glasses and let out a breath when I discovered they were unharmed, Jason broke my other pair when he slapped me once for refusing to skip class with him. I grabbed my books, my hat and my bag and as fast as I could, I carried myself out the door, keeping my head down and praying to God that nobody noticed my dishevelled nature.

My father wasn't home from work when I arrived at the small, one story, brick red house. I locked the door behind me and went to my room, dropping my bag to the floor, I closed my blinds and put my chair in front of my door, since it had no lock, it was the best I could do to feel somewhat safer, I winced as I took in a deep gulp of air, feeling a sharp burning stab through my ribs, I walked over to my dresser where a large mirror showed a reflection of a girl I could hardly recognize. My blue eyes looked sunken in, my face was still pale from shock, tears stained my cheeks and as I gently lifted my shirt I stole a gasp that only made the ugly red-purpled bruise along my rib line suffer worse. I stripped down to nothing more than just my cotton flannel jammies and a wife beater before crawling into bed, I did not feel like starting my homework, I only wanted to sleep, because when I dreamed, there was no pain, there was no hurt, no cruel words that belittled me or made me feel ashamed of myself.

~*~*~*~

"Kelsi?" A soft knock at the door made me open my eyes, it was dark, my blinds stealing the morning light away, I'd slept all the way through since yesterday afternoon? Another knock sounded. "Kiddo? You okay? Jason is out front waiting to walk with you to school..."

At the mention of my boyfriend's name, my body automatically began to quake with uncontrollable fear.

"Kelsi?"

"Dad?"I called out, my voice hoarse. "Please.. I-I can't go to school... women issues,"I called out. My father, having had to raise me from the time I was six, on his own, had never been quite comfortable with the whole issue of women and their monthly friends, despite that it was a fib, and I'd already had my period this month, I knew that it would buy me a day if I told him I had cramps.

"You got it, kiddo, I'll make you some soup and tell Jason you'll see him tomorrow,"my father's comforting voice through the door soothed me, if not just temporarily. I knew that Jason knew I was lying to my father, and if anything, this would upset Jason, making him think I'd spoken of the abuse to my Dad... maybe even the cops, either way, I'd have hell to pay when I saw my boyfriend again, but for now, I was in my bed, curled around my mother's old quilt, and I was safe... if only for a little while, it was that comfort that let me drift back to sleep.

I awoke again, midday, groggy from having slept through the entire morning, my hair was knotted from the lack of a shower and a brush, everywhere I turned my body ached, and had it not been for one wrong move in my sleep, I'd've not woken up in the first place, I felt warm, stuffy in my mothers quilt and now that I was walking toward the knocking on the door, I almost wanted to run back to that safe haven, I was afraid it would be Jason, waiting for me at the step but as I looked through my peephole, I was shocked to see familiar blonde hair and a cool stamina.

"Sharpay?"I croaked, my voice dry from the lack of hydration as I opened the door. The blonde Ice Queen that had ruled over my life for most of our High school years, and beyond, stood before me, giving me a once over and then I could almost swear I saw a flash of concern in her brown eyes before her icy posture returned.

"You forgot,"she snapped, hastily.

"Huh?"I asked, truly confused.

"My number? The number I was s'posed to sing in class today for everyone? You were supposed to bring it to me this morning at my locker and you weren't there!"Sharpay snapped. I groaned.

"Sharpay, in case you haven't noticed, I'm sick, and I really dont have time to listen to this, so I'm sorry-"

"Hold on there, missy, I still have a chance to sing tomorrow, so if you have it, let me get it from you now before you decide to play hooky tomorrow on us as well,"Sharpay ordered. I rolled my eyes and motioned for her to follow me. I ignored Sharpay's small mutter as we entered my cluttered, dark and stuffy room and I pointed to the stack of music on my upright piano across from my bed as I laid back down.

"Where is it?"she asked, poking through the compositions.

"It's in there, just look, it has your name on it,"I grumbled through my pillow and tried to find a position that didn't somehow make me ache.

"Honestly, Kelsi, how will you ever expect to get famous with your music if you cant keep a good track of where everything is?"I didn't notice that the silence from Sharpay after this statement came from her watching me roll over countless times to find a comfortable prone position.

"What?"I snapped, not caring how rude I was seeming to be toward Sharpay.

"Are you okay?"she asked, my eyes opened a bit wider at the unusual question from the Drama queen. She stood there at the foot of my bed, staring at my face like I'd grown an extra head.

"Sharpay, I don't feel well, please dont mind if this sounds rude, but I'm sure you know how to show yourself ou-"

"KELSI!"My entire body shot up from the bed at the sound of Jason's loud boom from my living room. My eyes wide, I imagine I looked something like a deer in the headlights when Sharpay stared at my actions quizzically. "I know someone else is here, there's another car in the driveway that isn't your Dad's! _KELSI_!"Jason's voice grew closer and I felt my heart began to pound, I couldn't breathe.

Sharpay took control and walked out into my hall from my door and stared at what I assumed was Jason, across from her. I felt the fear clench at my gut, _Sharpay, dont..._ I worried not only for her safety, but for the fact that there was no mistaking that Sharpay would brownnose her way into my and Jason's business after this encounter, something that would only cause more trouble on my behalf if I wasn't careful.

"Sharpay, what're you doing here?"Jason's voice was calmer now, but still held a hint of agitation and almost worry now at having been caught screaming at me.

"I'm here giving Kelsi a bit of homework, she's sick, but you being her boyfriend, should know that already, and if I were you you'd probably want to back off, she's puked everywhere, its not a pretty sight," my jaw slackened. Sharpay was lying... for me... to Jason's face.

"Well why are you standing there then? You're the last person I'd think would deal with someone sickly,"Jason crossed, I heard his footsteps come closer, Sharpay did not back down however, I watched her expression become even more stoic and she glowered.

"I am well-aware of how to deal with someone sick, especially when its caused by a _female_ problem,"I almost laughed at the irony of my excuse to my father earlier, now being used by Sharpay, like she was psychic or something. "Now, you run along and play with your little boys and balls and whatnot, and you can see Kelsi when she's better."

"How about you run along and primp your hair and let me see my girlfriend?"Jason's voice grew harder and I inched back into the corner, scared he would shove past Sharpay and begin beating me senseless.

"I'm not going anywhere, and if you dont move in the next five seconds for that door, I'll move you out myself, you got me?"Sharpay threatened.

_Oh dear God, Sharpay cannot handle Jason... fuck!_

"You think you can take me on, Evans?"

"I think you might just find out,"Sharpay challenged. A few moments of silence passed, my eyes were shut and I'd curled into a ball, waiting for the scream and painful blows to arrive.

"You're not worth it,"Jason's feet stomped away, the front door to the house slammed. I cowered, feeling my body rattle with the force of the slam, knowing I was in for a world of hurt when I saw Jason tomorrow at school, my father wouldn't let me skip again, he knew me too well to know that my period only caused me intense pain for a day at most.

A soft hand stroking my hair made me jerk away before I noticed Sharpay leaning over me.

"Hey, he's gone, what the hell is the matter with him? I don't recall that dumb shit ever being so rude, especially to _me_!"Sharpay admonished. I stayed silent, knowing that I couldn't tell Sharpay what was going on, I couldn't tell anyone, he'd only beat me.

_You fucking coward_.

"Kelsi,"Sharpay's voice snapped me from my mental debate. I looked up into increasingly worried brown eyes, I blinked, unsure if I was truly seeing the right person before me. This was Sharpay Evans, the girl who made fun of my glasses in grade school and then cheated off of my homework in sixth grade, this was the same girl who'd stolen my music pieces and never credited me when she sang them at plays or choir events, this same girl had taken over almost every musical I'd ever tried to help create, and until Gabriella Montez, had succeeded in making herself the star in every one of my shows just so she could make my life miserable by controlling my music and my compositions.

"Please leave, Sharpay,"I whispered, broken. Afraid that if she stayed any longer, she'd see the breakdown that was surely coming, tears were already stinging my eyes and my lungs burned for a deep gulp of air, I felt my clammy skin slick with sweat from fear, I was going to be sick... "Just leave, Sharpay." Sharpay did not argue, she walked out, without a remark, without a huff or fuss, without even the roll of her eyes or a bat of her eyelash, she just walked away, just like everything else in my life.

I collapsed onto my bed, the movement jarred my ribs and I reached for my trashcan as I felt the bile rise in my throat, I heaved and spit up everything I'd eaten in the past day, tears rolling down my face, I thought of Sharpay and her defensive nature toward Jason, she had stood up for me, without any questions or even a thought for reward. She had merely done a nice thing for me and now it was done, now, I'd be the one to suffer, because no good deed ever went unpunished...

~*~*~*~

As I'd expected, my father did not warrant me a second day of skipping school, though he was overly concerned as to why I wanted to stay home, so instead, I gave no argument and headed out the door, hoping he'd let it drop. About half-way through my walk to East High, I heard a few familiar sets of laughter and looking up ahead I noticed Jason alongside Chad and Zeke, the three basketball stars were headed for school, and had not yet noticed me a few feet behind them. I felt my breathing quicken at the realization that Jason would be wanting to get me alone and I thought about just taking off, when the sudden rumble of an engine came up behind me.

"Kelsi, hop in,"I blinked, looking dumbly down at the pink mustang, Ryan sat shotgun, he smiled and offered a wave at me, I didn't return the smile but instead, tried to rewind Sharpay's words in my mind. She stared at me expectantly.

"Huh?"I asked. Her brown eyes rolled.

"Get in, there's no sense in you walking, we're headed the same place, unless..."her eyes followed my line of sight up the road. "You want to go to see your boyfriend-?" I threw my bag in the backseat and crawled in through Ryan's opened door that he held open for me. Before I could even buckle my seatbelt, Sharpay stepped on the gas and we flew toward East High, I didn't try and worry myself with whether or not Jason saw me riding in Sharpay's open-topped flashy pink sports car.

"Thank you for the ride, Sharpay,"I said as I got out, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"Well don't just thank me and take off, I wanted you to clarify this one little nitch in the piece you wrote for me-"Sharpay began.

"Sharpay, I dont-"

"Kelsi! Babe, over here!"Jason's voice was unmistakable, I felt the color drain from my features.

"Now,"Sharpay held no room for argument and pulled me toward the school with her, I winced from the pressure she had on my arm. Ryan followed us, somewhat obediently. I did not look to see if Jason was watching, that would only serve to anger him, at least this way I could make up the excuse I had not heard his voice calling out to me over the crowd of students bustling to get to class.

~*~*~*~

"That! That's it, thats the part I dont understand!"Sharpay said as I paused my fingers over a set of keys for the second verse of the song.

"What part are you not getting?"I asked, confused.

"I can't keep the notes together, you go from a high alto to a really low stacatto in one whole beat, I just can't do that, look play it again-"

I did so, starting from the beginning and then pausing to slow along the verse, I listened to Sharpay strain to get the lyrics in through the notes. I sighed.

"I can't see anything wrong with it, it sounds fine to me-"I shook my head, shuffling my composition and straightening my glasses.

"I'm telling you, Kelsi, its not!"Sharpay argued and clicked her heels angrily toward me, snatching the composition from my hand.

I dont know what it was about the whole notion that set me off, but something triggered my sudden collapse to the floor, as I let out a yelp and curled up into a fetal position under the piano.

"Kelsi?!"Sharpay was alarmed by my sudden behavior. I felt her hand touch my shoulder, I flinched.

"Don't hurt me, please-"I was shaking so badly, I couldn't stop myself, the tears just came out, distorting my vision.

"Oh, Kelsi-"Sharpay pulled me into her, and despite fearing the hurt that my body was expecting, I clung to her shoulders, crying like an infant in its mothers arms, I cried for my loss of self-esteem and individuality. I cried for the pain that Jason had inflicted on me, after I had given him my trust to protect and love me. "Kelsi, I wont hurt you, how could I?"Sharpay cooed gently in my ear, her hand stroking my hair repeatedly.

"D-Dont, p-p-please-"I tried to stop the stammer in my voice but it was no use. I was shocked to feel Sharpay's lips press against my forehead, a small spark, just a tiny jolt from the tender touch, was not enough to convince me whether it was that or the tardy bell that caused me to leap away from her arms.

I stared at Sharpay, almost in wild horror or confusion, I could not tell, but Sharpay almost seemed just as shocked by what had happened as I did.

~*~*~*~

My back slammed against the brick, my head taking a nice backlash for it, I yelped in pain as Jason put his hand over my mouth to drown it out. I heard my coach blowing a whistle and knew it wouldn't be long before he noticed my missing from playing gatorball.

"You fucking told her, you little bitch, you told that scumbag Evans female about this, didn't you?!"Jason growled at me through bared teeth. His hands were clamped around both my arms, pinning me to the side of the building, my body groaning with effort not to scream as the brick cut into the flesh of my backarms.

"I never said a word, Jason, I was sick... she just- brought me homework.. I swear, please, you're hurting me, ah-!"I cried, as he pulled me forth and slammed me back again, I leaned my head forward to stop my skull from being smashed into the brick.

"You'd best be right, because even if you did say something, nobody would believe you, you're nothing, nothing but a waste of space, you don't care about anything but your little music books and your piano, you dont fucking matter to anybody, you got that? You're lucky I pay any attention to you at all, I could have any girl I want-"

"So go after them!"I couldn't fight the angry retort, but the fist knocking into my stomach, taking my breath clean from my lungs, instantly regretted my action.

"You think I don't? You think you're so fucking special, don't you Kelsi? Oh look at me, I'm a pianist, I create plays and musicals and people love me.. HA! They dont love you, they love the stars, they love people like Sharpay, like Troy, like me, people who actually get up there and do the _real_ work, there isn't any room for losers who stand on the sidelines,"his fingers lifted my chin and he pressed a sloppy kiss to my lips, I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt."Just remember, without me, nobody would notice you, Troy, Gabriella, Taylor, Sharpay, hell, you think she actually cares about you? She just uses you for your music-"

"Jason, I have to get back to class, Coach Bolton will know I'm gone-"I reasoned, wanting to escape, knowing that what Jason said was mostly true, nobody really cared about me, I even doubted whether Sharpay was just defending me because of my music, or not... she'd never needed me unless she truly wanted something... why did I always let people run all over me like this?

"Get back to class, but you're mine after school, got it?"he dug his fingers into my arm, making me grimace.

"Yes,"I seethed, and forced myself not to run the moment he let me go.

~*~*~*~

I waited for all the other girls in the shower to leave, I was thankful that gym was my last real class, I had a free period before my day was over, this meant I had time to afford to shower discreetly where no other girls in my class could see the fading and fresh bruises along my torso. As the last girl left, I went ahead and began to strip, allowing the water to warm up again after having been shut off, I pulled my hair free of its bun and set my glasses down close where I could reach them if necessary before stepping under the hot spray, hissing as it touched my skin and made the cuts on the back of my arms sting, I was sure that he'd popped my shoulder out of its socket for a moment, but I rotated my shoulder and winced at the small grind I heard as it slid around.

I felt tears well in my eyes and I shook my mind clear of all thoughts of my body's pain, I began to hum, gently, recalling an old lullaby my mother sang to me, from my favorite Disney movie.

"_A dream is a wish your heart makes_

_when you're fast asleep_

_In dreams you will lose your heartaches_

_and whatever you wish for, you'll keep..._" I sighed as I took a washrag and squirted a healthy dollop of soap onto it, not hearing footsteps echo.

"_Have faith in your dreams and someday_

_you're rainbow will come shining through..._"

I gasped and whirled around, immediately crossing my arms over my chest and blinking through the water in my eyes to see Sharpay Evans sitting on one of the benches across from the showers.

"Sharpay! What the hell?!"I used my washrag to cover my more private area, but then I realized that she was not staring at neither my chest or nether regions, but at the bruises, cuts and scars that were formed along my body. Most particularly the ugly yellow bruise over my ribs that was still red and angry purple in a few patches, it was still very tender, as everytime it tried to heal, Jason would hit me again in the same area.

"No, Kelsi, what the hell?"she asked gently, standing and walking over to me. I took a step back, the spray hitting my shoulders, but she reached over and shut the shower head off, leaving me standing there with nothing but a washcloth to cover myself as she gently reached over and traced the bruise over my ribs, I sucked in a gasp as I felt the area budge under her light brush of skin, not only from the pain. She looked up at me, her brown eyes enlarged and though I had no glasses to see clearly, I could tell she looked frightened. "Why?"she asked. I looked away, unable to face her, I began to shake, realizing I was cold, and wet, and still very naked, but that did not concern me as much as knowing that Sharpay knew...

I felt the soft cloth of my towel draped over me before I was enveloped in a warm embrace, Sharpay tucked my face into the crook of her neck, despite that I was wet, and as gently as she could, tried to dry me off.

"S-Sharpay-"

"Shush,"she ordered, gently. She passed me my clothes and waited for me to get dressed. Once I had everything, she took my hand.

"Sharpay, where are we going?"I asked, concerned. Jason had made me swear I'd meet him at his locker after free period... That ended in almost ten minutes.

"School's done, you are coming with me to the doctor, and then we're going to turn that son of a bitch over to the authorities-"

"NO!"I shouted, yanking my hand away. Sharpay whirled around, stunned at my behavior. I stood my ground, not as solid as I'd wanted to, but Sharpay looked at me calmly.

"Kelsi, if I'd known.. Jesus, how can you just let him hit you? D'you really think that little of yourself?"Sharpay asked. I winced, _that stung..._

"This is none of your business, Sharpay, I never asked for you to help me, I don't need your charity,"I snapped, weakly.

"I'm not offering charity, I'm offering my support, Kelsi, Jason did this to you... why?"she asked, stepping closer. I looked away, unable to look her in the eye.

"Jason's a good guy, he doesn't mean it- he just has a few issues every now and again-"

"And so that gives him every right to use you as his human punching bag?"Sharpay snapped.

"What's the difference? I mean, really Sharpay, isn't that exactly how you think of me? I'm just your sawed-off Sondheim, right? Here to use at your disposal, hell _everyone's_ disposal when you need homework done or a song written or a good laugh at?"with every word, my strength dissolved into bitter, hurtful tears.

"What difference does Jason make? Every person in my life has hurt me, Jason is just another one of those people, yes, he hurts me, but he takes it to the next level, something nobody else has done before, maybe next time around, he'll do the world a favor and ki-"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence, Kelsi Nielsen, that is _not_ who you are!"Sharpay's voice cracked. She grabbed my hand just as the bell rang, we were running out the schoolhouse doors toward her car. I tried to pull away but she practically tossed me in and then took off before I could even yell for help. Driving at an alarming speed, I noticed the tears in Sharpay's eyes.

"So what now? You're going to be my demise? Finish me off?"I muttered. I felt myself jerked forward as the brakes screeched under Sharpay's demanding foot and we burned rubber, stopping out in the middle of a desolate highway. Sharpay reached over and unbuckled her seatbelt, and mine and then, in a move neither of us could have expected, her lips came crashing into mine.

My eyes shot open wide, I had a hard time seeing what was happening past the tears that were still stinging my eyes, but the faint taste of mint and salad dressing, along with a soft pair of lips gently caressing my own in one of the softest kisses I'd ever experiences, slowly, my defenses let go and I lost myself in the kiss, my eyes closing, I would not look a gift horse in the mouth, as my father said, even though my brain was spinning with questions, but I'd savor those for later, after I could get my heart to stop pounding to the point where it wanted to rip from my chest.

Funny.. here I'd thought my heart was in pieces, yet it felt so whole, so real, like Sharpay's hands sliding along my waist and jawline, pulling me closer, a soft moan escaped from her throat, or was it mine? As soft fingers caressed the skin of my hip, and raised, only then, did my body freeze as my blood ran cold, and I jerked away, curling into myself, wincing as my sprained shoulder collided with the door. I felt the tears come, as my heart raced with a new meaning; Fear.

"Shh, Kelsi, it's alright," a simple touch, I winced but the touch did not recollect, as I lay in the fetal position, I was surprised when Sharpay's arms encircled me and pulled me into her lap of the drivers seat, I wasn't sure how long I sat there in her arms, but I was certain that it was now getting dark and I could hear that the engine of the car was off, but none of that mattered to me, not even the faint buzzing of my cell on vibrate from my bag in the floor, as I lay curled up in Sharpay's arms, my face buried into her sweet-smelling neck as she had the seats tilted back and my entire body pressed into her side.

It was a sudden gasp from Sharpay that caused my spell to break and I saw her looking up at the sky, I turned and noticed, just in the knick of time, a star falling across the dark blue sky, littered with diamond sparkling stars and a crescent moon. We sat alone in the midst of the New Mexico desert, staring up at a sight that normally, I'd consider the most beautiful thing in the universe, if it weren't for that being a human girl lying right here beside me.

"Sharpay?"my voice cracked, I wasn't sure what I was expecting, the crying had ceased but I felt so tired, so drained, so... raw. Sharpay's glittering brown eyes looked over to me, and only in the faint light of the moon, did I notice her tears. "Sharpay,"I whispered softly, reaching up, I wanted to touch her, I wanted to ensure that she was real, that this wasn't some sick dream playing tricks on me.. that I was safe...

Safe. Yes, I was safe, no amount of imagination from even me could dwell that beautiful look of longing and hurt, struggle and promise in those brown orbs.

"Kelsi,"her voice shook. Sharpay was scared? But... how can that be? How on Earth was the most impossibly bravest person I'd ever known, scared? What of?

"Sharpay, please..."I whispered, I wiped an errant tear that fell from her eye. "Please don't cry." Sharpay's eyes closed as my hand caressed her cheek and she pressed against it, turning just a snitch to press her lips to my palm.

"I love you, Kelsi,"she whispered into my hand, then.. her eyes were on me again. "I love you, and I hate seeing you hurt,"Sharpay's voice dropped a notch, as it usually did when it came to her being really serious about something other than shopping. "There are a lot of things I can handle in this world, Kelsi, growing up without my parents really being there, the cruel words of our peers on a daily basis, trying to not really torture Ryan for being a flaming gay boy when he's really one of the only two people on this Earth to understand me... but I can't stand my life going on without you in it."

My breath caught in my throat.

"Your infectuous smile, your uncanny ability for songwriting, your bright eyes and the way they light up whenever you have an idea... your voice.. your body.. and my favorite,"I almost yelped as her palm rested along my left breast, practically cupping it in her small hand. "Your heart, the one thing in this world that is so strong, yet so fragile, and I hate that you've mistreated it by letting someone like Jason Cross, have it and beat it to death."

"Why me, Shar?"I wanted to cry. My voice hitched. I was having a hard time breathing still, "why do you care so much now when you spent almost our entire lives making me hurt?"

"Because it's what I was good at, its how I learned to love people.. by distancing myself from them, but damn you Kelsi, from the moment I saw you- you wormed your way into my heart and you've never left, you were the only person who ever really mattered, your opinion always meant so much to me, out of cold words, yours cut the deepest, out of kindness, yours was the only one that made me feel special, you always treated me like I'm ordinary, like everyone else, not some rotten stuck-up snob or a filthy rich princess.."Sharpay stated, staring up at the stars.

"You get me, Kelsi, more than you know, and I both love and hate you for it, I don't want Jason to hurt you anymore, I don't want him to love you because if there is one thing I'll admit about myself, I _am_ selfish, I want you all to myself... I want to love you, to hurt you, in a non-physical way, I want to make it up to you by showing you how much I really fucked up, even if it means apologizing in front of the entire East High community, I want to be your sunrise, your sunset, I want to be everything to you, I want you to get mad at me and I want you to forgive me and then fall in love with me every single day, just like you've made me do for nearly sixteen years."

Baited breath between two souls, the faint sound of my phone vibrating angrily from the floor of Sharpay's car went again, ignored, I was certain that if it wasn't Jason, it was my father or the law, out looking for me. But I didn't care, I kept rewinding everything that had just occured since I left with Sharpay this afternoon, and how surreal it seemed. Before I suddenly just realized that I was wasting time, as usual, thinking and overanalyzing every detail of why I was moving so fast when the arms around me squeezed comfortably, careful to not touch the bruises around my waist, the lips that pressed to my temple in a soothing, loving gesture and the eyes of the girl that were filled with hope and desire and fear of rejection, looking at me.

"Y'know, it's going to take a while for me.. to really get used to the idea of you loving me.."I said slowly.

"I'm willing to wait,"Sharpay whispered.

"I mean, it could be tomorrow, or maybe a year from now, or even college graduation,"I continued.

"I'll be there with open arms,"Sharpay said.

"And the abuse, it's so fresh, I'm not sure if I'll be able to really learn to get over it so fast... though I know you'd never lay a hand on me-"

"Never,"Sharpay agreed, sternly.

"And if I found myself moving far away to study music in Europe or some other unknown country, and I had to be alone for a while to really find myself?"I asked.

"You're my only reason to really stay alive, Kelsi, if that's what I am, just living... here in this large world, I'll be here, for you, whenever you need me, but please, please consider me.."she asked.

I stared at Sharpay for a long moment, before I knew that if I tried to think any longer, I'd only talk myself out of possibly one of the best things in my life, my heart was still racing, my soul was on fire, or maybe that was the cut along my side, I did my best to grind my teeth as I scooted closer, if that was possible, and pressed my lips to Sharpay's. She responded, but I had control, it was a first for me, having such power over someone else, I allowed her to hold me close, but I determined where her hands went, I paused her if she tried to deepen the kiss and I was the one to end it when I was ready.

"I should get you home, our parents are probably already trying to contact the authorities,"Sharpay stated after we lay together for a few extra minutes after a hefty makeout session that left me both breathless and wanting so much more.

"Just a bit longer, Shar, please?"I begged, nuzzling her neck. Sharpay said nothing, merely wrapping an arm around my waist. I smiled, knowing that she was just as happy to oblige. I knew it had to be hard for her, not being in control, but until I was ready, I was certain she wouldn't mind the wait at all.

**xFINx**

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**AN:** liked it? loved it? hated it? think i shouldnt write kelpay nemore? tell me what you think pleaaaaaaaaaaase!? take care and have a happy and safe holidays!!! -LJBard


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